I missed posting yesterday so I'll be putting another entry up later tonight once I get through my work quota for the day. We're going to San Francisco for a couple of days this week where I am giving a presentation on garden literacy. Preparing to leave, even for a few days can be a bit of an ordeal. I have given up on trying to do any serious work when I am away. I either don't have files that are needed or the time away is just too busy and tiring. Plus I have got to get my time in at the ocean! We are not going for nearly long enough but I will take what I can get.
Song: Nick sent me a utube link to Paul Simon performing "American Tune" and I've been been addicted since. This part is really beautifully put:
"And I don't know a soul who's not been battered
I don't have a friend who feels at ease
I don't know a dream that's not been shattered
or driven to its knees"
Me neither. And that is why I have just about lost all tolerance for external social pressures that ask us to bend ourselves and our real experiences in favour of something safer, easier, lighter, and untruthful. I say "just about" because I still bend myself to the will of that pressure sometimes. Much more than I would like. And it is in those moments that I get very twisted up and lose my perspective on who I am and what I believe. The good news is that I am allowing that to happen less and less, recognizing it for what it is sooner, and finding my way back to myself faster.
The word that dominated my life last week was indignation. It is funny how often the word came up. Because I could not ignore it I've managed to come to terms with the emotion. I've cultivated a good dose of it and instead of seeing it as a negative I have allowed myself to embrace it with a healthy helping of respect for the usefulness of it.