Am currently borrowing a fancy camera. Am beginning to get comfortable with fancy camera but am still shitting self. The initial fear is from the panic of borrowing such an expensive bit of equipment.
I fear random tragedy.
Then there is the getting used to such profoundly different lenses. One is wide and the other is a 120 macro. And then there's the crazy tripod. I haven't used one of these in 10 years and am a little rusty with all the potential. The weight I can do without.
Here's the first good exposure I got. Stupidly bought 3000 iso polaroid film and wasted almost an entire pack trying to figure it out. He was a patient model. By this point it was hand-held and all others after it. I even took one in the dark last night that was handheld and is not too fuzzy. I am the human tripod.
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Okay, I think I know what at least some of this anxiety is about. I've always lived by the principal that if you can do something with nothing then you're way ahead. To me that was always the real art of life. I got this from my grandmother and the ingenuity that comes from having very little. I have never had much respect for achievments that are supported by privilege. The more access I have to fancy equipment, the more I feel I am betraying this belief system. But it's a problem because I'm at a point where I just want to use equipment that works reliably rather than fucking around with shit that has its own mind.