First thing this morning I felt strangely compelled to listen to Heart's "Dreamboat Annie" [watch the sound on that link]. Well it's not an unusual compulsion for me, just strange that I thought of it this morning.

Listening to the album compelled me to go through some old papers and junk. Nostalgia. While looking at an old zine I did with a friend when I was 20 years old, I found an article I wrote about how much I hate the birth control pill.

"I've begun to realize that women (including myself) are too unaware of the workings of our body. I'm mis-informed about a lot of things because I've always relied on doctors to tell me whether I'm okay or not."

How screwy that nearly ten years later I have revisited these concepts in a more extreme way. How pathetic that I wrote those words, but did nothing about it. I did quit the pill, but I continued for years to remain complacent when doctors and specialists told me everything was fine with my body despite the increasingly strange symptoms that only progressed as I aged. The pill didn't make me sick on its own, but it was another thing along the way that contributed to my body breaking down.

It just floors me that the older I get, the more I realise that I haven't learned any NEW life lessons, I've just learned them in a different way -- a way that encourages me to act on my behalf rather than just think about it. There are different kinds of understanding. Sure I wrote those words ten years ago, but I didn't really understand how important they were or would become.